The GAD Pathway I want to start off by saying, in the end, I loved the Game Art and Design pathway. There were rough patches where this class stressed me out more than anything in my life and I almost wished I had dropped it, but there were also beautiful moments of collaboration and self-improvement. I would not be where I am today as a digital artist, have any experience coding, or probably even know what I want to do with my life if it wasn’t for this class. That being said, I honestly have no idea how this class has prepared me for the industry, and I don’t think I will know until I get into the industry. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was great preparation, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I was blindsided by a lot of things in a real life game design career, whether that’s volume of work, how work is actually split up, or whatever. Obviously, it’s very difficult in a classroom setting to prepare students for the real world, especially one as hectic as the game design industry, so any preparation is better than where I started with zero idea of what the game industry was like at all and with no experience in any similar scenarios. I definitely do have a better picture of what a career in the industry might look like (even if that picture is still a little blurry) and a much better idea of how interdisciplinary the whole process is, and why it’s good to be a bit of a jack of all trades in terms of the skills that you can bring to the table, even if you play a very specialized role. However, I think it would be beneficial to hear more from young game designers just getting into the industry about what they were surprised by after going into the industry after school, that sort of thing would help me understand the industry a bit better (we did have some guests, but they talked more about what life is like once you’re in the industry, not the transition from learning to working). In terms of skills though, this class has been incredibly helpful for me. I was amazed looking back through old work at just how many skills we learned in just the first year (photoshop, 3D modeling and texturing, making a board game, it’s a lot!) and how much we’ve improved since then. I learned a lot about principles of design through the infographics (even if they did feel very tedious after a while,) got better at drawing from 2D art assignments (especially the one over spring break where we had to follow traditional drawing tutorials in our sketch book in GAD), learned so much in 3Ds Max, and got my first real coding experience in Unity. There were also smaller skills like audio and video editing which I had had some experience with, but they were definitely skills that these classes helped me hone. Then there were also some more abstract skills, like how to manage my time, how to work on a team, how to not stress out over an assignment to the point where I am cursing under my breath for the whole class because I am so worried about failing this photoshop test where we have to recreate an image and I haven’t learned any of the keyboard shortcuts yet and how the heck do you make a star with the shape tool!? (Yeah, 9th grade Abi did not know how to deal with anxiety…) All jokes aside though, these more abstract skills are just as important as the concrete ones. I’ve been able to complete a lot of bigger personal projects because of my newfound organizational skills and planning abilities. I wouldn’t say any of the skills that I learned have been unhelpful or a waste of my time (except for how to use Chronozoom, RIP). However, one thing that I really did not like was a lot of the reading that we had to do for this class (I’m talking random articles and The Art of Game Design). I feel like a lot of it was irrelevant to our work in class, and just tedious, and didn’t deliver the information well. Yes, it’s important to know about target audiences, but it was so much more effective to teach about that when we pitched our game ideas, as we can see through experience and learn. I know that Mr. B does not like lectures, but I find a lecture from a fun teacher much more engaging than a book or article. Now, there can be fun articles, and some of the ones that we read were really cool, but overall, I just didn’t get a lot out of the reading material for this course. In the same vein, I feel like doing research into careers in the earlier years of this course wasn’t the best for me personally. I feel like if this lesson had come later, I may have had a clearer idea of what I wanted to do and could have focused in a bit more. However, I do really appreciate the idea of trying to show kids that there are lots of opportunities, so maybe I just would have wanted to revisit the subject in a mini-lesson in later years, but still keep the majority of the lesson early on in the GAD pathway. Luckily, one of the cool things about this class being on computers is that if you want more knowledge on a subject, google is your best friend and will help you learn more about anything. For this reason, I don’t really feel like there were any topics I needed to spend more time on in class because I could always google something if I didn’t understand, wanted it delivered to me in a different medium, or was just curious about learning more. I just hope that most kids are resourceful enough to do so when they want to learn more, otherwise, I’d say more time needs to be spent on understanding coding, because that took me some time and resources to figure out. Advanced Studies Our project this year was creating a 3D model of our school and creating a virtual reality non-violent horror game with the model of the school as the map. I modeled and textured some objects and simplified models so that the game would not be too laggy. It was definitely a struggle sometimes. We had a lot of issues with file format, transferring files, and programs updating so files didn’t work anymore. This was solved through the use of a flash drive, redoing work, and communicating about what files formats would probably work best, as well as just through some trial and error. I personally had some issues in trying to figure out how to work efficiently (not deleting unnecessary vertices one by one) without losing the quality of the original model (the automated vertex merger would sometimes make things look a little funky). Overall, I solved this by using a combination of the two methods, and I feel like, for the most part, I was able to effectively simplify the models without overly distorting them.
The thing I am most proud of with this project is just the amount that we were able to get done. We had a functioning game (for the most part) and a whole building of the school modeled (for the most part). While we had had some big dreams in the beginning and would have ideally liked to accomplish more, for 4 high school kids we did a pretty great job getting done as much work as we did and bringing 4 different people’s work altogether in one game. This project taught me a lot about time management, working on a team, and how to not be a complete perfectionist and still be proud of my work. In terms of technical skills, I got much more familiar with Trello, and learned some new 3D modelling tricks. I think in anything I do in a group setting now, I will be able to communicate with others a lot better. I feel like I have improved at knowing how to praise and respect other people’s work while still being able to address any flaws that need to be addressed, and how to ask people to get things done by a deadline. As for the perfectionist part, our game was not perfect whatsoever, and past me would have been incredibly bothered, but current me couldn’t be happier with our game. It was never supposed to be perfect and never will be, games, and experiences in general, rarely are. They’re always works in progresses, or pieces of art with something that could be improved, and this project has helped me not only accept, but appreciate that. I didn’t learn as much about my independent work this year (though I have from all other years of GAD) but in a way, I did learn how I function as an individual in a group, and how that has changed from the last group project we had in AGAD at the beginning to the year. I do feel much more confident working either independently or in a group now though, I feel like my work is useful and like I can actually produce amazing things. My biggest takeaway from CTE Advanced Studies personally is just that I, with a group of people can do things. This may sounds like a lame take away, but it’s really not for me. This year really proved to me that I have what it takes to accomplish things, maybe not on my own, but I can certainly contribute to big projects in meaningful ways. Before this year, all of the assignments in my Game Art Design classes had been things I HAD to do. If they didn’t get done, I would have a bad grade, and they were all set out by Mr. B, he expected us to be able to do them. This project was different. Yes, I would have a bad grade if it failed, but it was no longer an assignment that I HAD to do. It was a project that my group WANTED to do. There was no expectation other than that we go for it. It’s no longer “complete these parameters,” it’s “what could we do?” The lack of a “read the rubric,” was incredibly freeing for me and created a space about just experimenting and going for it, and trying to make the most awesome game that we could, and we did it, we really made something that I am genuinely proud of, that I had had no idea whether or not we could realistically create and we did it. I was part of that. We are capable of doing things, not because they are expected of us or because we have to, but just because we have the ability, the willpower, and the passion to do things. I know that’s really cheesy, and sort of rambly, and pretty abstract, but I really am glad for this first opportunity to work in a creative space with others to do something big. It’s what I want to do for the rest of my life, and now I feel like that’s possible for me.
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This is it. The end of the year. Time to say goodbye to high school. So I'm not sure that I have time to really get into the sappy stuff properly in this post, so instead, I'm just gonna talk about my main takeaways from this class.
1. Anxiety Ok, yeah, this one is a little unfair, because I definitely had anxiety before this class, but let's just say, those photoshop and illustrator quizzes in 9th grade? They taught me what real panic is. But what I really mean by this is that this class has shown me a new kind of anxiety that I'm going to be very familiar with assuming my career goes as planned: anxiety over meeting deadlines of creative projects. And for this, I'm really grateful, because if I hadn't experienced it for the past four years, it would hit me like a ton of bricks in college. Also, providing these stressful situations has allowed me to see my improved anxiety management as I've gotten progressively more on top of projects and less worried about perfection. GAD has honestly been one of maybe three major things in my life that have helped me with anxiety. 2. Mad Skillz When I started out in GAD, I had used blender in a summer camp, but I had never touched ANY sort of programming (other than maybe one day of code class,) any of the programs we use like 3DsMax and Photoshop, or even really thought about what it truly takes to make a game. To have gone from essentially nothing to working in VR in 4 years (especially those years being highschool) honestly is a little wild to me. I don't really think of myself as very skilled since I still have so much to learn, but actually I have developed so many skills in this class that i may not have even tried to learn if not for GAD. Not all of them are skills I will definitely use, but the majority are, and most of the rest are ones I would love to continue using, even just as a hobby. I like being able to make digital art, 3D model, sound design, edit my own videos, manage my projects, and program things, and because of GAD, I can, at some level, do all of these things, and I know where to find other resources online to learn more. 3. Friendship This one is a bit sarcastic but also in another sense very genuine. I don't know if we, the advanced studies kids, will actually stay in touch after high school, but I can say it was really great to work on a team, and it taught me a lot about working with other to create collaboratively. So, it's sarcastic in the sense that, I may or may not take my current friendships with me, but I will take the people skills that I've learned here with me, and that will help me both in professional settings and casual ones. I started out high school being very quiet, not really fully believing that anyone would want to be my friend, and GAD in part has helped me in being a space where I can belong as part of the team, which does wonders for a kid's self esteem. I feel much more confident presenting my ideas to others and knowing that what I'm saying is worth others hearing, and that didn't come from teacher praise, it really came from the unique environment that GAD creates in having such a tight knit community of peers who are, for the most part, incredibly supportive. Overall, I'll glad I was in the Game Art and Design pathway. I had my regrets in the middle for sure, but getting to create on a team this year has been so gratifying, and I really think the class has dramatically changed me as a person and helped me figure out what I want to do with my life. If you made it this far, thanks, Mr. B. This post actually comes with me asking for some advice. If you want to comment any below, please do!
I recently committed to NC State with the intended major of Art + Design, hopefully so that I can concentrate in animation. Of course I am stoked! It's going to be amazing to be going to college - especially NC State with how nice the Design School is - for something that I love. However, I know a lot of students, and especially students in artistic majors, experience burnout. I'm currently feeling the highschool burnout that people term Senioritis, so burnout has been on my mind a lot lately and I want to do my best to avoid it from here on out. So, I'm going to post some of the plans that I have to attempt to avoid burnout, but if you have any suggestions, again, feel free to comment them below. First, I'm going to try to make lots of friends outside of my major, and maybe take some classes outside of my major too. I think that if I am constantly surrounded only by people talking about art, I will get tired of it. I've always been someone who has enjoyed more interdisciplinary stuff, and luckily NC State is a great place for this. There are so many other majors like ecology and engineering that I'm also really interested in, so taking courses on them, or at least talking to others who do, could keep things fresh and keep me inspired. Secondly, I really am going to try to be way better about time management. I think that's the biggest source of my burnout right now: it feels like I have no time because I am not managing it well. To be fair, I am having 3 hours of rehearsal after school and I am in the throes of AP review, but I could definitely be keeping my schedule a little tighter and that would help me find more free time. I'm not sure if Trello is going to still be my method for this since now I am not time managing for a team, but it might still be helpful for me to just have my own personal boards. I know I will use some sort of planner if I want this to work. Finally, I will try to have some hobbies that help me recharge. It's a little weird to think art may not be my hobby any more, but maybe just drawing silly stuff or fanart still will be. Otherwise I'm thinking singing/playing an instrument and potentially coding simple games. I know a lot of people say having a hobby helps, and though, yeah, it is another activity that you have to make or leave time for, it's worth it to not be low energy and unable to create efficiently later. That's about all I have for today, but I bet I will find better strategies for myself as I actually get to college and see what's manageable. I'm really excited to be pursuing my passion, and I'm going to do everything I can to avoid bust. I'm writing this post 1/14/19, but it will be posted on 1/16 because that's the day that I'm actually presenting this work to the whole faculty and I didn't want any spoilers (Hi Mr. B). So I've been one of the officers of the GSA (Gender Sexuality Alliance, or Gay Straight Alliance) at school this year, and another club was created called the Student Equity Leadership Team. I've worked a lot with the latter this year, and that has lead up to what I'm about to do in two days: present to the entire school faculty about respecting transgender student's pronouns. As a semi-closeted trans/nonbinary kid who is only closeted because they're too scared to come out (ie not because of any danger, just fear of judgement) it's a little terrifying to know that in less than 48 hours, I will have spoken to over 100 people about respecting trans kids. However, it's also incredibly exciting to know that I'll (hopefully) be impacting future trans students at school, hopefully for the better. Anyways, in order to do this, I also made a handout in the form of a zine (a small booklet), and it was a lot like making infographics, so I'm counting it as art/graphic design for the purposes of this post. We wanted to have a handout that wasn't just another piece of paper, but that was still something that teachers could keep for future reference. It was kind of scary to make, because whenever you speak on behalf of a community, you don't want to get things wrong. The artistic aspects were fun to make though, and I think that they make the document much more interesting, especially now that it's in small booklet form on lavender paper. I want to open this post up to the larger description of activism in art though. While DSA is a very liberal school, there are definitely places where this zine - and any art with an activism undertone - could be considered propaganda, and that's another reason that it's so scary to create in this way: I don't want to be seen as some extremist who is too serious about politics. This project has really helped me learn that you can create without coming off that way: sharing your opinion, even in a biased way, doesn't mean you're extreme, it just means that you have an opinion, something that you're totally allowed to have. Respecting trans people is something near and dear to my heart that affects me and my friends, I should be able to make art about it, and express my opinions about it without feeling overly political. I can't keep being so ashamed of who I am that I hide it from my creative work. Anyways, here's a digital copy of the zine. Just getting back from break, this week was kind of just frustrating, because it took me a while to get back into the swing of things. Thankfully however, I did get back into the swing of things, and the pig has less than 3,000 polys now, but still around 5,000 vertices. I still have some simplification that I can do, and some shapes to fix on the eyes and nose, but I am confident that in 1-2 weeks it will be done, and I can move on to texturing. In more exciting news, we are testing the chicken in VR soon (once Ryan can get the lighting fixed and Sam is willing to do some VR playtesting).
Goals For This Week:
This week was mostly about getting back into the swing of things, getting organized, and setting up the overall group dynamic. This was fairly easy since our work from last year helped us build the team, but we then had to double check all of that work from last year still worked - so far, for the most part, it has. My main personal objective this week was to get the Trello set up in a way that works best for our group, and to figure out how much of the school we can realistically model. The Trello only took a day or two to set up, and I'm pretty happy with it now. It now shows what tasks are important for the immediate future, as well as what we are currently working on. There are colored labels for what each task pertains to (3D modelling, programming, etc.) so that most of them can exist in the same list so that they are easily visible, with the exception of categories where a separate list was requested in order to make it easier for that person (Sound Design in this case). Overall, I think it will lead to a better workflow where fewer things can be overlooked and where it's easier to see what needs to be done. As for the scheduling part, this is still something that I need to feel out, but we are hoping (and praying) that we can get the new building done by, or at least soon after, the end of this quarter. It took us about a quarter to design the GAD room last year, but we are hoping there will be a learning curve that will allow us to develop the map more quickly, even if we have to add details after this 9 week period.
Goals for next week:
So we've just completed a four-week game, and I'll talk about it later, because it was literally finished this class period, but I do want to talk about time management. This isn't completely specific to Game Design, it's very important for every part of life really, especially school (as seen by the fact that I had to wake up at 4 to finish homework last night because I left it until the last minute), but I'm going to talk about it for both games and just in general here. This is just going to kind of be a reflection on my own time management skills (or current lack there of) and sort of set some goals to reach in the future.
It probably seems very obvious to everyone, but calendars are really helpful for me. Despite this, I don't actually use one, and I think that's what I want to change. Trello was a really nice program for being able to check things off as we did them during this project, but I don't like how you can only have one deadline per checklist. I think a calendar combined with Trello would be effective because then you can still set strict deadlines and a good schedule while still being able to write checklists that you can easily check off from anywhere. Since it's digital, I wouldn't forget it at home or anything. Setting up this system or a similar system both for game design projects, and possibly just school work is a big goal for me. However, another problem I face is forgetting that the deadline for a big project - like 40 chemistry problems - is coming up. Even when given calendars, once they're completed, I usually fail to look ahead, so I don't see these things until it's too late. With checklists this can be avoided, but usually these things are prioritized lower on those lists than upcoming events, and sometimes I wouldn't ever get to them anyway. I think that to solve this, I want to dedicate a part of the wall in my room to be just for post-it-notes with the names of big projects and their deadlines. That way, I can look at the wall every day, and as long as I keep it updated, big projects won't be able to sneak up on me. Lastly, I also have trouble with motivation to use my time wisely. Many times I know I should be working, but I just don't want to. I think that if I think more about why doing the work is important or meaningful to me - grades are important for the future, parents would be disappointed, this is going to be an awesome game but only if you get it done, etc. - then I would have less trouble with this. Also realizing the things I'm doing to "relax," like watching TV, doesn't actually make me feel any better, and it would be better to get the work done early and have time later when it would make me feel better because I wouldn't feel guilty since I had already accomplished something. Overall, my time management isn't as bad as I probably just made it sound, it just could improve, because I feel like I could accomplish a lot more than I currently am. I hope that I can stick to these goals and that the improvement will be apparent. In class, we are currently creating games based on Durham, and current local issues. We aren't very far in production yet, so I'm going to save talking more in depth about it for another post, but so far it is going well. Our game does not yet have a title, but it focuses on the issue of the Orange - Durham Light Rail, a proposed train system basically connected areas from Chapel Hill to Durham. Our game is going to be a rogue-like game where you have to build the track from one stop to another before running out of money, featuring Herman, a possessed ice cream cone, and Carl, a strange walnut character. I am the Production Manager and also work on narrative products as well as some of the 2D art.
However, what I want to talk about in this game is other Durham games, or even Durham content and Durham creators. This can be game companies of Durham or games that are set in Durham. I also want to look into games that are about current events. Both of these things are important as an aspiring game designer in Durham because it will let me learn more about the local game making community, which could be good for opportunities, as well as see what effect games can have on important issues. With just a quick google search for games set in Durham NC, very little relevant information comes up. Instead, gaming stores like Atomic Empire pop up, a list of books set in Durham (mostly history and basketball books), and even a kickstarter for a webseries set in Durham. It seems that there aren't any (easy to find) games set in Durham right now, which makes sense since we are just a random town. However, I still thought I would find something since the people of Durham seem pretty proud of "Bull City". Heck, I even have a Durham-themed comic book. The good news is, despite not making many games about Durham, there are many gaming companies with offices in Durham, many of which I got to see representatives from at ECGC last year. Insomniac Games is a pretty well known company around here, and they do a lot of work in VR games. Epic Games, who famously made Unreal Engine 4 also has an office here, and at ECGC I talked to many people who work there. They're also working towards more VR work and have made so many technological advances in the past few years to make VR better. And as I mentioned earlier, with places like Atomic Empire, it's obvious that there is a decent sized gaming culture here. More interesting to me are games that focus on current events or issues. I really am passionate about art as a form of activism, and such an immersive form of art and entertainment as a game seems like a great vessel for change. This article from NPR discusses the effectiveness of games in teaching messages. While the data is still coming in, I believe media of all forms does affect people greatly and I hope that I can create games that do affect people. I ended up playing one of the games mentioned in the article: The Cat in the Hijab. It lines up with my political views, so it didn't change my opinion or anything, but I appreciate the game. The message it tries to convey is about hate speech. I played through the game twice, trying to make the opposite choices each time, and I was a little dismayed to find that the choices made only really changed a few lines, so I felt as though it didn't teach anything about what outcomes different choices have. However, the best results did come from ignoring hate speech and sticking together with supportive people, so I do like the overall message it tried to get across. However, I think the people who need this message the most might not have played the game, possibly even just from looking at the title. So I think it's also important to remember that games don't have to be incredibly political to still make comments on important issues. As the NPR article above said, people like subtle messages better, and they're less likely to shut down moderate arguments than extreme ones. Games are a good starting point to get people thinking about issues, to make people more open minded and get the conversation going. Games like Skyrim have beggars and orphans, making players think about how to treat the poor, as well as big, open worlds with complex political climates, giving players a look into how different aspects of the world affect each other. Plague Inc. and Pandemic both teach valuable lessons about disease, the value of the CDC, and how the choices we make about travel and trade can affect health. These are examples of serious games that are still fun and subtle in their messages. Overall, I think games have a great potential for change, and I'm excited to be creating a game set in my hometown that could actually teach people about the light rail.
Before anyone says anything - or takes points off for spelling - it is "theatre." "Theater" refers to the actual building while "theatre" refers to the art. At DSA, we have to choose two art pathways. When I was making the choice, my dad said something along the lines of "well, do you think you'll be doing it for the rest of your life?" With that logic, I probably would have tried to opt out of history class, but he did have a point. As you can guess based on this website and the title of this post, I chose game design and theatre. Game design is pertinent to one of the paths I could possibly take in the future, but theatre isn't quite as much, at least at surface value; I'm not planning on being an actor. Yet, I think that my experience with theatre is helpful with other arts, including many aspects of game design.
The first three weeks of this game design class has been creating infographics, and at the end of the week, presenting them. Well, I'm a pretty socially anxious person, which does not bode well for me doing things in the game industry since pitching games and presenting ideas is a key part of the work. This is one of the main places theatre has helped me. Aside from the obvious things it has helped me with - giving me practice speaking in front of an audience, practice projecting my voice - it also taught me to take risks and be more comfortable in myself. While my presentation skills still aren't great, I think they are getting better, and theatre is a big part of that. In my last post, I also mentioned that animation is a career I am looking into. If this is character animation, then it's clear that studying how people express emotions would be very helpful. However, I've also helped out with many different tech crews before, which also holds many valuable lessons. Set crew can teach a lot about staging objects in your scene, as well as "camera angles" because of how much you have to consider where the audience is. Most recently I've been working on the marketing crew which has helped give me practice in graphic design and advertising. Since animations are basically drawn films, it makes sense that acting and tech that goes into creating theatrical shows would help with animation. In another small way, theatre helps because of the memorization skills it teaches. Learning lines quickly for a show can teach you to memorize other things quickly as well. This is helpful for photoshop shortcuts, or common commands in coding. Even if your memory isn't very fast, you do learn how to memorize better for yourself. Likewise, this, along with doing any piece of a show on a tight schedule, can help improve time management skills. Also, when working with so many people on a show, your communication skills are going to improve. Basically, for me, theatre is helpful to game design because:
So lately I've been thinking a lot about college. I have the better part of a year before I have to actually begin applying to schools, but I definitely want to start thinking about this now so that I can get everything in order for college applications. This feels sort of difficult for me, as I'm sure it is for pretty much everyone, mostly because I'm not sure what I want to do with my life yet, but feel like I have to make a very polarized decision; do I want to go into science of some sort, or pursue a career in art?
Right now, I feel much more inclined to go for the art career, but I am so scared of doing so that I can't commit to that idea. I would love to just go for it and work on cartoons, but the starving artist story, self-doubt, price of art schools, and other general fears make that hard for me. I don't think I'd mind a science career. I'm pretty good at science and math and enjoy logical things. In fact, chemistry is my favorite class this year, and I was considering taking two sciences next year. However, I have trouble seeing myself in a STEM career for my whole life, and I feel like at some point I would regret not following my real dream of going into animation. However, this would allow me to go to a college close to home probably, and I feel like I would have more financial security in the future. Plus, this option would give me more freedom in switching major since I wouldn't be going to a specifically arts school. I really would love to go to CalArts since I feel it would be the best school to go to in order to get started in animation. However, the prices there are pretty high, so I'd probably have loans for a while, especially if I do become that starving artist. However, I feel - and I know this isn't really true but my friends keep saying it too - that if I don't go to CalArts I have a significantly lower chance of ever really making it big in the cartoon industry. I am also not sure if I'm good enough to even make cartoons or even get into an art school. I feel like I might be too impatient to make high quality animations, or just overall lack the skill for it. Though I don't usually get art block or anything, I do sometimes lack motivation to do things, and I'm afraid being stuck on one project for as long as you have to be in animation. My parents seem supportive of either way that I go, but most of my friends are very vocal about their opinions that I should go into science instead. As I said in the beginning though, choosing colleges and majors is hard for everyone, and I still have some time anyway. I just wish that I could just take the risk and put everything I have into art school and hopefully not regret it. I really do want to go into animation, and though it may not be the safest or most traditional route, I think I'm going to try to do it. Ultimately, it will probably be up to what colleges accept me, but as of now, I'm definitely leaning towards a more artistic school. |
AuthorHi, I'm Abi, a DSA student who likes games, drawing, writing, and acting. Archives
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